Archive for June, 2006

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

1590521358l_2  I totally recommend this Christian Book for those who are still not or currently in a love relationship. Buku ini advise you A LOT about what the meaning of a relationship really is, bagaimana seharusnya suatu hubungan dibina dalam tuntunan Tuhan, apa yang tidak boleh dilakukan dalam suatu relationship dan alasannya.

This really widely open my eyes, mind and perspective of a relationship itself.

I learn how this entire world has been misleaded and the purity of a love relationship has drowned. Buku ini juga kembali mengingatkan bahwa dasar dari hubungan adalah Tuhan, coz He’s the One who put a man and a woman together in that relationship, so hubungan yang dibentuk oleh Dia harus dibangun dalam Dia dan sesuai dengan kehendak Nya. Ini yang suka salah, karena the couple thinks that they’re the one who owned that relationship and therefore they’re free to do what they wanna do.

It’s not just about a love relationship, it also reminds me about my relationship with Him, dimana i have to put my relationship with Him higher than any kind of relationship that i have or will have in the future. Nah, yang terjadi adalah kebalikannya, banyak pasangan yang mementingkan hubungan mereka sampai akhirnya me nomor 2 kan hub. pribadinya dengan Tuhan.

One of the chapters, The Room (i put it on this blog) also slaps me about my sins which God has forgiven, I cried hard while reading the chapter, this really refreshes my soul.

The conclusion is, It’s not that you are not allowed to date, it’s just that what’s the purpose of dating if you’re just do it as a fun or for your internal non-God purpose?

My motivation of praying and waiting for the Right one is strengthen by reading this book, that’s why I choose not to date with uncertain reasons (dear x, if you read this, then you’ll finally know why i refused your offer, i’m so sorry).

I’ll surely ask my future mate to read this book 1st before we commit into a relationship.

Feel like reading this book? you can borrow it from me, I don’t know whether it’s been translated to Indonesian or whether it’s already in the stores, coz I bought it from Singapore, and it’s in English. Happy reading and God bless ^ ^

title: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, author: Josuha Harris http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/reviews.htm

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Wanita Tanpa Usus

Wakakakakakakka…. gw punya julukan baru, Wanita Tanpa Usus… hehehe serem banget si kaya judul film horor Suzanna jaman bahola… thanks utk Anny, yang bikin julukan itu.. gw suka ^^… knapa juga gw disebut Wanita Tanpa Usus??? hehehe so simple coz Usus Buntu gw dah di ambil dari my body :)

Jadi bgini ceritanya… gw dah sering banget ngrasain sakit peyutt..rasanya kaya ditusuk-tusuk, dililit, dan sering nyeri… i never thought that it’s an appendix problem, karna kata orang-orang kalo sakit usus buntu tuh pasti kita ga bisa nekuk kaki kanan.. well anehnya gw bisa tuh.. akhirnya konsultasi ke internis and jreng..jreng  + radang usus buntu… weekkk… langsung deh si dokter nyuruh gw opname at that very moment, dan langsung arrange untuk operasi on the day after tomorrow..

Hehehe.. cita2 gw masuk RS kesampean juga ternyata… orang2 yang deket sama gw pasti tau tentang cita2 aneh gw ini.. soalnya seumur-umur dari gw orok baru 1x pas dilahirin gw nginep di RS… sbenernya sih cita2nya sih masuk RS dengan penyakit biasa aja, demam kek, tujuannya simple, gw cuma pingin istirahat total.. karna ngrasa cape banget.. tapi ternyata penyakitnya lebih dramatis dari yang gw harapin heheheh….

dan ternyata, masuk RS tuh ga enak ya… sakit dah pasti, suntik sana-sini, blm kalo susternya aga BeTe in…(woiii pelan2 dong masukin jarum suntiknya, sakit tau T_T ) trus bete kalo siang.. ga ada yang nemenin… cuma ada komik-komik yang terus2an gw baca ampe stupidd… walkman bawa si, tapi banyakan ngobrol daripada lagunya jadi males… satu2 nya hiburan gw cuma HBO Channel..aseeekk..karna emang gw hobi nonton.. pengennya si bawa portable DVD player trus nyetel drama Korea deh heheh..tapi gw pengertian si ama tetangga sebelah.. kan Tipi nya milik berdua..

Talking about tetangga, enaknya tetangga gw asik… dah ibu-ibu si, tapi masi funky aja… baru 1/2 hari kenalan, dah akrab qta… jadi ga brasa bosen bgt..

terharu deh, liat banyak yang jenguk, tenyata gw punya banyak orang yang mengasihi gw.. mulai dari inang & bapa tua yang jauh2 dari Plumpang, temen2 deket, kantor en sampe parsahutaon di rumah.. thanks for your love, aLL…

Puncak kesakitan gw adalah ketika obat bius totalnya dah abizzz..hiksss.. i’m alone di surgery room, sementara para suster sedang beres-beress..bekas operasinya sakit banget, dan secara gw orangnya mellow, alias cengeng.. gw nangis dah di ruang bedah… heheh malu jadinya… tersiksa banget deh… ga bisa gerak, walaupun suster2 suruh gw gerak, tp gw ga mau, takut robekk…

yang paling menyiksa gw sampe sekarang (6 hari setelah operasi) tuh, gw ga bisa ketawa…. hate that… bener2 nyiksa, kalo ketawa pasti kesakitan… ga cuma ketawa si, ga bisa bersin, ga bisa batuk juga.. tapi yang paling bikin sulit tuh karna ga bisa ketawa, karna gw orangna gampang banget ketawa coz of silly things..and majorly people around do silly things that always make me laugh… ya ampun…. sengsara banget deh… pokoknya gw harus revenge, kalo dah sembuh, gw harus ketawa ngakak banget, terserah orang mau pikir gw gila…

So, as my mom said, never had a bad wish coz it might come true and you’ll regret it… you’re rite mom, i admit it, eventhou i never admit it in front of you, but since you don’t know about this blog apalagi internet…hehe, iya mama benerr dehhhh… (nyokap gw ga tau ini, gw ngaku salah heheheh)

(*) gambar usus buntu gw nyusul yakkkk

Salam,

-WanitaTanpaUsus-

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The Room

"The Room" by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

By Joshua Harris. Orginally published in New Attitude Magazine © Copyright New Attitude 1995
You have permission to reprint this in any form. We only ask that you include the appropriate copyright byline.

http://www.joshharris.com/theroom/originalarticle.htm

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You don’t see Me

This is the place where I sit
This is the part where
I love you too much
Is this as hard as it gets?
‘Cause I’m getting tired
Of pretending I’m tough
I’m here if you want me
I’m yours, you can hold me
I’m empty and taken and
Tumbling and breakin’
‘Cause you don’t see me
And you don’t need me
And you don’t love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream of worlds
Where you’d understand
And I dream a
Million sleepless nights
I dream of fire when
You’re touching my hand
But it twists into smoke
When I turn on the light
I’m speechless and faded
It’s too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?

‘Cause you don’t see me
And you don’t need me
And you don’t love me
The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where
I’m falling apart
Isn’t this just where we met?
And is this the last chance
That I’ll ever get?
I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you

‘Cause you don’t see me
And you don’t need me
And you don’t love me
The way I wish you would

‘Cause you don’t see me
And you don’t need me
And you don’t love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

what’s wrong wiz’ this song? i was kinda shock when i noticed the lyrics of the song, it’s so me getu loo.. hehe.. lagunya real banget dan honest.. it’s a confession of a broken heart (lo kok jadi albumnya Lindsay Lohan hehehe), well actually it’s a confession about the fact that you are not loved in return by someone that you really wish he/she would.

it’s so sad yet true, i was once in this position and you know what? it needs time to finally be honest to your self and confess about that, coz basically girls always dream espc. when they’re in love, they’re just like blinded by the feeling that they have at that time and couldn’t and/or refuse to see that actually the other person does not have the same thing to be returned.

i put this hyperlink for you to listen to it, in this link, song ini dipake someone untuk dijadiin mv dari anime, the focus is not the anime but the song yaa..coz may be just may be you were or are now having the same situation… enjoy !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiN0MuBiYaY&search=you%20don%27t%20see%20me

Comments (3) »

BuRn the Fat and Lose WeighT

duhhh… lage ngrasa ndutz banget nih…abis makan mulu sihhh dan ga pernah olahraga lagi sejak kluar SMA, abis ga ada plajaran OR kan di kampus hiks..hiks.. di kantor, kerjanya duduk terus, paling jalan ke printer or fax machine and then most of the time backline jadi gudang nya makanan, ya pangsit, kue bantal (our favorite), dkk nya… + ndutz aja deh huaaaaaaa…. eh pas lagi desperado gitu.. kebetulan nonton JakTv lupa nama acaranya, tp nampilin 10 hottest bodies nya celeb.. they have their own body trainer pantesan aja bodynya ok-ok… and that inspires me to do the exercise, bukannya baru kepikiran sih dah laWeightscalema sbenernya tapi niatnya ga ada jadi ga ke motivate.. mulai sibuk deh cari2 tempat fitnes/aerobic dsb… hehehe blm nemu tapinya.. rencana mau jajal di Tebet ama Mba Mon, mudah2an ok jadi ga perlu nyari-nyari lagie…

i have to shape up, time to change neh (jieee), i’m not saying that skinny is good ya.. but at least seimbang lah… and to make a healthier body 

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